


senses

by chtkwn (mooshu)



Series: autistic!leo (non au) [1]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Autism, Gen, Neurodiversity, autistic!leo, sensory issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-14 22:27:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3427808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mooshu/pseuds/chtkwn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Taekwoon, everyday is too loud.</p>
            </blockquote>





	senses

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time writing vixx (first time writing anything besides taoris tbh). possible tw, idk its leo going through sensory overload/meltdown

For Taekwoon, everyday is too loud.

He's learned to get used to all the noise that comes with life, that sound is unavoidable and there is nothing he can do about it. He's gotten quite good at ignoring it most of the time; just sticking his earphones in usually does the trick, music drowning out the noise of everyone and everything around him. He was once asked by someone, "If you hate noise, why listen to music? That's just more noise." He hadn't replied because he had no answer then, because it _was_ a bit silly once you thought about it.

But Taekwoon knows now. Listening to music, a noise, to block out another noise is different. This noise is wanted, and can be controlled. There is no controlling the sounds of everyday life; car horns going off during drives, crying babies on flights, people talking and yelling and laughing around him constantly. But with music, he can turn the volume as loud as he wants, and as low as he wants. He is in control.

But there's some days, not even music is enough. He can still hear the noise, piercing his ears painfully. He goes through his entire playlist, searching for a song that will work, that can block out the noise that is now starting to intensify and suffocate. An ambulance siren is ringing in the distance, Jaehwan and Hakyeon are chattering obnoxiously, the radio is turned up too high on some God awful song. His hands are sweating and slightly shaking. He forces himself to stay composed, he'll be home soon. He glares at the traffic light they've been stuck at for ten minutes, thinking if he stares at it enough it'll change from red to green.

They arrive at the dorm fifteen minutes later. Taekwoon heads straight to his shared room, ignoring whoever asks him if he was fine with ordering chicken for dinner. He doesn't care, right now is one of the rare times where eating is the last thing on his mind.

He flinches when he shuts the door a bit too roughly, the sound shooting through his agonizingly, but sighs with relief to be in his room.

It's a bit too late, though. His eyes are burning from tears, his breathing is speeding up, his entire body now shaking. He sits down onto his mattress, closes his eyes and covers his ears, tugging at his hair. He forgot to lock the door, and hopes no one walks in on him like this. That would be humiliating. Maybe the door slam was enough to warn them off for now.

There's still noise. The sound of the TV, some construction workers doing something to the sidewalk underneath his window, and some of the other members talking and laughing in the living room.

Taekwoon tries. He tries listening to music again, only to get frustrated when it doesn't work like before. He tries to lay with his pillow shoved tightly over his head, but it gets too hot, adding to the sensory overload. He tries to simply ignore everything, curls up with his knees hugging his chest, rocking himself gently.

This helps some, and his soft sobbing turns into sniffling.

Soon enough, the construction site below is quiet and all he hears from the dorm now is the sound of glasses and plates. He's hungry but doesn't have the energy to get up and face everyone else. Exhaustion weighs him down and he lays back, flipping his pillow onto the cool side and burrying his face into it.

He's asleep within five minutes.

 

 

It's totally silent when Taekwoon wakes. He yawns and stretches, wondering what time it is. Late, he's guessing, judging by the quietness. He lays on his back, staring up at the ceiling.

A sudden "You're awake?" coming through the darkness makes him jump slightly. He's not alone, and he recognizes the voice as Hakyeon, who is laying next to him.

He scoffs, and Hakyeon chuckles. "Sorry," he whispers, bringing a hand to Taekwoon's head, running his fingers through his hair and gently massaging his scalp. Taekwoon hums in response, leaning towards Hakyeon to lay his head on his shoulder.

Hakyeon pulls him closer, lowering his hand down Taekwoon's back, rubbing small circles. They lay like this for a few minutes, together, Taekwoon relishing the silence and Hakyeon's presence. He can be really soothing when it's just the two of them.

"Are you okay?" Hakyeon asks after a while.

"Yes." He is now, anyway.

"Okay." Hakyeon gives the other's hand a squeeze, and Taekwoon is grateful he doesn't pry any further. 

He soon falls asleep, again, in Hakyeon's arms.

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry this is plotless and and idk how to end or title things!! but i kinda wrote it for myself. yea.


End file.
